It was an extremely exhausting day today.
- Had the usual pain of first day of the period: cramp, sore around my back, leg, and arm, and anemia.
- Announcing that the team overall reached February target, I reach target (in overall numbers), but two of my channels don’t (means, I actually didn’t set my target right and actually didn’t reach my target in grooming and managing my people).
- Setting the new target for the channels (yes, target setting is crazy exhausting!).
- Sharing session with the non-performing team.
- Sharing session with my lifeline in the team, who is rotating to other team and is not being replaced with a person at her level – no, not even close.
- Being mandated a new channel to handle but is losing people. It’s kind of more complicated than that, but my brain has stopped working and decided to not giving a damn of what I am writing.
- Waiting in pain for my mom’s health condition update – this is mentally exhausting, I almost wiped five times today because of this.
Thanks thanks thanks God my mother is fine and had only minor infection in her digestive. The doctor told her to control her diet for good because bad diet can really be harmful for her digestive system – good that she heard it from the doctor.
Also, I went grocery shopping with my brother today – using his 100K Carrefour voucher! YEAY! Me love vouchers (Yes, I have become that person who value free valuable stuffs hehe)! Besides, I love grocery shopping with my brother cause it is something that we do with our mom. However, I was so exhausted that I sighed multiple times and barely smile.
Until I went picking some eggs (my brother loves scrambled eggs). I was about to pick them bare-handed when a senior Taci (address for senior woman with Indonesian-Chinese ethnicity) suddenly stopped me and said, “Hey, use this (plastic bag) as a glove, don’t pick the eggs bare-handed. It is very dirty,” while handing me her used plastic bag.
Although I am not a big fan of plastic bag exploitation, the fact that a stranger actually cared about me and bothered admonishing me for this very little thing is extremely heart-warming. In this world of ignorance and solitude, there are still people that cares that much. This might sound crazy, but I felt loved. And I think that is the feeling that everyone must bring to other people – whichever way we chose to bring that feeling.
What this Taci did somehow also reminded me of few of the dearest persons in my life who would do exactly the same thing with her. Caring and loving through the little things. Afterall, it is probably the little things that make our life matter.
Good night, everyone.
A note from Friday, Jan 30, 2015.
I really am blessed with people around me.
One of my colleague passed by a chocolate store last night and bought me a bar of dark chocolate (100%!!) with cocoa nibs. A sweet companion for my weekend trip.
A good friend of mine works in the airport area and he kept me a company for lunch and for the following two hours while I’m waiting for my 2.35 pm flight to Singapore.
To feel that I am loved by the kind people around me is indeed the warmest feeling I know by far.
I opened last Sunday by strolling down the city park in my neighbourhood in Bandung. Thanks to Mayor Ridwan Kamil, we now have lots of heart warming city parks in Bandung. Why heart warming? Because the parks attract all kinds of people: from little kiddos to senior citizens, from public transportation users to limited edition Baby Benz owners.
I love seeing the kids running and chasing each other at the park. I love seeing senior couples walk through the jogging track holding each others’ hands. I love seeing daddies taking the picture of their little daughter in front of the pond. I love seeing teenagers sitting arround the bench gossiping. I love seeing moms negotiate and buy stuffs from the street vendors. I love seeing people. It felt so earthy, so natural, so right…so peaceful.
And as for me, I spent the morning sitting by the pond, enjoying the crowd while reading a chapter on “Finding Your Tribe” from one of my favorite writers, Ken Robinson.
One thing I’ve learnt and understood well is my affection to music. I’m not a musician, nor can I play any music instrument. I am a listener. To me, listening to music is like diving into feelings and emotions. Each genre, singer, song creates unique pulse in my head. Today’s pulse was made of William Fitzsimmons’ songs. His songs are sad, melancholy, and surprisingly calming. Seems like he’s trying to convince his audience to feel okay being sad. Oh well, whatever he’s trying to deliver, he had successfully driven me to go get my crayons and start drawing. I am not an artist. This is just a way for me to channel the pulse. 🙂 absurd? Skip reading. 😉
Sometimes, all I need is a very tight hug. So tight that I know someone has my back. So tight that the weight on my shoulder is suddenly crushed. So tight that I know I mean something more than just a random person you meet on the street.
When I was in high school, I never think of going to universities other than Bandung Institute of Technology (ITB) and University of Indonesia (UI). No other options. And did not plan to review other options. Good thing I got into ITB.
When I was looking for a job, I only wanted to go work for a multinational company. As if it’s a given fact. Good thing I got a job at Tenaris – a global steel manufacturer.
After 4+ years of working in planning & strategy area, I thought that the only possible step to take is MBA. And hence burry my head deep in it. Until this afternoon when I an offer to fill in a COO position in a start up company came.
It was my second time being offered a similar position in a start up. First one was for quite a famous start up. I dropped it off by saying I’m going back to school. I am serious about going back to school. But, I didn’t really have to drop the offer. Maybe I was just scared, self-doubting, and inconfident. Maybe I was not sure about what I wanted and needed.
This time I am pretty sure of what I need and want. I want to explore new things. New role, new field, new environment, new people, new challenges, new hopes. MBA served all those very well. And hence became obsessed with it and did not think through of options. I thought it was the only way to go until the offer today. I suddenly realize that I have options. I have always had options for any decisions made / in the making, if only I would open my mind a little bit more.
Self-doubting? For sure. But, when similar offer came twice, I believe the universe is trying to say something.
I am grateful to have them in my life. To go with them today to this beautiful resort. Grateful that they let me sleep in the morning. Grateful that they somehow were around and let me hold on to them when I panicked and was losing breath at the ocean while snorkeling today. Grateful that they don’t judge me no matter what clothes I’m wearing, no matter how aweful my face is with this acne problem, no matter how frequent and big I eat. Grateful that they seriously participated in the team bonding games I facilitated. Grateful that they opened up to each other. Grateful that they challenged my mba plan. Grateful that we have a very personal, deep, philosophicat, practical conversation. Grateful to know them more than just a colleague from the office. I am grateful for the decision I made two years ago, joining this company, for it had led me to them. I trust You, God. Your plan is always good. Thank You.